What is it about new relationships that send us spinning? We forget our schedules, we forget to eat, hell I have forgotten my own name. Is it love or lust, and who cares? It feels so damn good. The beginning of any relationship is special and unique. It can never be relived. The moments must be cherished and remembered, but most of all, completely enjoyed. Live in these moments, knowing that no matter how this relationship transpires…you were fully present at the beginning, when anything seemed possible.
1. The friendship… You met someone and you just clicked. From the moment you laid eyes on each other you knew there was something different about this person. Their smile was brighter, their eyes looked at you differently, you got along as if you had known each other 20 years instead of 20 minutes. You laughed, you joked, you flirted…and flirted…and shamelessly flirted!!…people around you asked questions and you brushed them off saying you just “got each other”, and you had since you first met, you were such good friends and “no there was nothing going on between you”. Secretly you thought about this person every second you were not with them. You wondered what it would be like to hang out with them, or hug them, maybe brush lips, possibly spend eternity with them. You may have found yourself having the weirdest fantasies about them, sexual or otherwise. You had no insecurities with this new friend, and there was no judgement, so you could tell each other all the things you shared with your closest friend. You knew you wanted to be more than friends, but like hell you were going to be the one to look crazy and ruin this amazing “friendship”.
2. The game changer… After a couple weeks of the best friendship of your life laced with some awkward sexual tension, he blatantly asked you if you were interested in him. He flat out told you he was interested in taking things further with you. Shit. Everything was going so well with the pretend friendship and no real commitment, but desperately wanting him all to yourself, yet constantly wondering what he thought of you. Stop being coy…it’s not only annoying it could really fuck up your chances with this great guy. You have met a million guys and they are usually blatantly obvious about what they want, and it usually doesn’t involve getting to know you on the level this guy has stepped up to. He took the time to get to know the real you. He knows your deepest secrets, your likes and dislikes, your crazy moods and he has decided to stick around and take a chance on you. The least you can do is take a chance on him. Plus you genuinely like him and are secretly fantasizing about him. Tell him you are interested in him too. Just agree if nothing else.
3. The date… So you made plans to go out and do something completely out of context of whatever it was you had been doing that led to this moment in time. You were nervous, and scared and worried…a basic train wreck. However, you were also shaved and manicured and your hair and make-up were perfect, and for God’s sake, I know your outfit was to die for, because you changed enough times to be wearing the one that perfectly accentuated all the right curves in all the right places. You looked sexy, but not slutty….and you were probably wearing at least one animal print, because he mentioned he liked that and it looked great with black and your hair color….and that’s ok…He picked you up, you fell right into that comfortable relationship space you had grown so accustomed to being in with him, and the night felt like you belonged…You were thinking you belonged with this guy, at whatever place, in that outfit, at that moment in time and, yes ladies (I know it crossed your mind), possibly forever. , This was the time to have fun, be sexy, be smart, be cute, be funny and be his wildest dream. Be all the things you are and all the things he was always saying he liked about you. Just don’t have sex with him…yet.
4. The follow-up… You made it through the first date, and a couple more, and now the two of you are talking and texting and seeing each other like you are an item. Believe in him and all the amazing things he has planned for you…yes, YOU! Do not let the baggage from another relationship find it’s way into this new relationship’s vacation. You are in the honeymoon stage of the relationship and you both deserve to enjoy every second of it. This guy has done nothing wrong and everything right, and wow…do you remember the way he looks at you? He looks at you like you are not only the only woman in the room, but the only woman on the planet. You let each other into one another’s hearts with the deep connection of friendship first, which is a very stable and lasting foundation. You should build on this and trust where it leads.
Not all relationships are the same. What is the same, is the feelings from which we benefit when the relationship is emotionally, psychologically and physically positive in nature. Caring for another is a gift that can help us feel happy, united, confident, purposeful, sexy, and generous. Allowing another to take care of us can give us the freedom to feel safe, trustworthy, beautiful inside and out, and basically just amazing! Take the plunge, head first, with no regrets. It’s a win-win! You will either learn something valuable about yourself in the process or you will end up with an unbelievably incredible partner with which to enjoy every day of your journey in life together.